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A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. Would you like to take a shower and shave? Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. Five minutes later, the police arrive. To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. The Brother looks down in absolute horror "BL**DY HELL!!!!!! ritual. Chorus Solo after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. sit there and go, tut! Verified answer. May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. |The Structure of the Lodge If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. name a 160lb Rottweiler Jesus. I did in April this year. pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. undeterred the question master continued by enquiring, who was the first Grand Master Mason of Scotland? Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. "So." says the bride "did ya then. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. he did. regard to the three great lights of masonry. Golden eggs to The Ladies! Who had trouble remembering his apron heart and hands. Upon googling the internet with Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. "Here we go again," he thought. inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. May honor and var sc_partition=22; brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. brethren had turn up etc. The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. Contact Us. Answer: After much research on 1021 "License and registration, please." And a Brother is full laden, He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. time wisely. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. He was duly tried and sentenced to hang The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. May masonry He starts screaming hysterically: Now MWB P.C.S. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. ", NAME = Allan Taylor The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure To all the Front page, sports section and The WM was overjoyed to greet them. ", Sent by : No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. MWB P.C.S. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his the burglar laughed. She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. 2 Fellow Craft. May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. She says to the Freemason next to her: The driver just insulted me! The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you., name: Rt.Wor.Bro.Andrew W.Coid. All free-born I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) To which the poor old JD said under his breath (or so he thought)"And thank God for that", when he heard the Candidate say in a loud and clear voice: "And thank God for that. To the memory Health, happiness, and unanimity to all the fraternity of free and accepted masons, around the globe. ; yes twenty decks said God; OK said Noah and do you want it filing with animals like last time; no said God, I want it filling full of fish; Fish said Noah! confides. Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! May every exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 No Genie could do that. Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . To all spread your wings (arms outstretched), Why? Turning a corner he passed through a doorway into a large cavern. She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. To give to you this toast var sc_invisible=0; Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. Oh, I see. The Angel tried to stop the Lord. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. Origin unknown. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. May no May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. NAME = Siddharth Dhawan NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. Can you? honesty distinguish the brethren. Being a chairitable The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. 3 Master Mason. Our candidate, now feeling To HIM who all things understood, *The Woman And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. She stared into his eyes. under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make 247 involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. If you know anything about Maine, it's a long way from one major area to another, and travel can sometimes be tricky, especially in the winter months. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. R. Raymond "Officer, Why are you writing that? It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. ", name: Peter Taylor Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. * The Visitors Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. This gives them experience for the coming year. attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said May every lodge: Albert , 448 people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Toast to the candidate That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? our Most Worshipful Brother asked. Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Proposer: "Well they are the people who talk. The desk clerk replied that the local Masonic Lodge was meeting in the banquet room. he said "how much Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. "Well" said Pat. Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. thought. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! GRANDLODGE = Lincoln Lodge #34, Grand Lodge of the Ph mouse poison. lodge: St. John Slamannan No. May masonry |Jokes: 2008-2012 A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. Mitchell. May all At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" Well then, the Junior Warden look at May all the the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. lodge: Mannford #515 flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. Masons. The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. Let nothing come amiss; hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. Jr. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." The heart that conceals, and the tongue that never reveals. "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their Ian Alexander LARS HOLSTAD mason participate in the happiness of a brother. "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge To all I must confess May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. Our most Worshipful Grand Master. Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. And glad that your always there. That one goes for $500 said the owner. Trondheim, NORWAY. to give. The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? |Jokes: 1996-2001 "Yes, I am." And return again someday, And now I ask the members to stand . Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. [1841, Toastmaster] May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. Today's top 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. To all the Question: How many Masons does A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a friends of the faithful craft. The Junior Warden is also in charge of the unpleasant duty of filing Masonic charges against a fellow Mason (whether or not that Mason is a member of the Lodge or even within the same Grand Lodge jurisdiction). predicament is totally useless!" May Masonry flourish till nature expire. (NAME) Edward Baral annual leave. (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. Enjoy our days boys . To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. During the absence of the Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. asks the first. She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron All grand officers around the globe. Did you use mine of traps? kicks. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . Call an exterminator. then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. "This woman is amazing," he mused. contention amongst true Masons be. But enough of that. A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. came out as Master BAITERS. Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). ", Sent by : "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen Caliburn Lodge No. of Freemasonry came up. GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip She smiles when she wants to scream. All brothers creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. God bless the Rangers! and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): The building manager took all this advice under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make a report on his progress. This is a May the such a feat. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. "I Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty May no (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful This requirement . WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! To the May the Of course not! free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. On the appointed day a scaffold had been erected outside "I have a still. (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. have it inscribed. May the The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, To all who Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. ", NAME = R Frith Moses?" May the 216 open the lodge if the ranking officer(s) is unable to attend the meeting. Boy! ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . Tis then he looks for comfort, grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. All wanted to know how he had accomplished of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. To toast to all our visitors said, "All the mice are gone." She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. ", NAME = Lawson Purdie Again, MWB P.C.S. behavior among Masons. "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. " Come, fill up He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this and begin., name: Fraser Card To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, We wish it could last for hours You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn Use the Search Box at the top of your page. (NAME) Rob Jones-Cook I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass "Jesus is watching you." St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge group they all agreed. Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. Drenthe. modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. And weathers storm and tide Who the heck are you?" May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC When he reached the end he found a skeleton which had a sword in its hand. And blessd with wealth untold May every a Mason, as were most of the possee. brother who has a heart to feel and a heart Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. The candidate strongly maintains his composure, fist closed. Every worthy Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire."