Does that about cover it? [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. And you got LOUDER every time you made the Maitre D move us to another table. It's a cool chamber. Carl Otis Winslow: After you left, I saw your boy Fresh Squeeze at the door. Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. Edward! But just to be sure, I'm going downstairs to check the dictionary. Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the next name]. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, how true, how true! Gun, Carl. Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. Rise! Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! A heart that hurts. There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? I-I-I see. Pass the salt, Edward. Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. [Eddie groans as Carl walks in to brighten his mood], [Eddie leaves with Carl to hang out with him. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. I'm on duty? Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! "No mo giet itsu mana! You're always sorry. Steve Urkel: [reading] "No mouth breathing, no snorting, no drooling". Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. Suppose I made it happen. Ouchith! Harriette Winslow: Then clean it up, I'm still on strike. "Family Matters Quotes." Raoul is the new produce manager. He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Dad took Waldo instead of me. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. [Pulls him into a hug]. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Rachel Crawford: I'm what? Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. The valet gave me a tip. Hey, what were you doing in my closet? Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. Laura Lee Winslow: Fun? Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? [laughs] But you never smile! [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. Sorry. Wa chee! Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. This is my mother. Self respect. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? Waldo: Sure you have. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! All the pins look like Laura! The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Lt. Murtaugh: I dropped the, uh, nerd off next door at the, uh, nerd house. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! I'm not your personal doormat. Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. I wanna show you something. Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. They misspelled three words. Got anything in the fridge? Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Laura, please. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. You need to get out more. Whem I'm unhappy about something, I say so. Eddie: I'm the one who's taking the test. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Steve Urkel: Whoa. Who does these things? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. 7. Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. We should put those pictures in the school paper. [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. More like The Repulsions. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. It's late. That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. Laura: By being born first. Why, you teach us things about life! I want more Punch! Waldo: I got close once. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. I'll tell you something else, Allison, I may not be the most trendy guy on campus, or the best looking and I'm CERTAINLY not the most coordinated. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Steve Urkel: Okay. Besides it's just a joy ride what could go wrong? Estelle Winslow: Carl! Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight. Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Colonel Dirk Urkel! Your father waited at the Box Office for an hour. Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. From now on, no parties and no TV. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any important paper work. Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. I'm getting dizzy. Eddie Winslow, front and center! I'm going home! Harriette: What for? And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? I mean the guy's a feeb. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! He is portrayed by Jaleel White. I just caught her, that's all. Alright. Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Way to go Carl! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Carl Otis Winslow: [ordering in a coffee shop] Just a bearclaw and a coffee. Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. The bad news is, he'll charge you an arm and a leg. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. no. Laura: Every time we order another course, you bring your chair closer. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! How about the next round we switch colors? Why she is woman, hear me roar. His relationship with Eddie was usually better than with Carl and Laura. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why are you upset, Waldo? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Forget it, Carl, it's quicksand. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. Can you help me out? Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: How did she die? [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Stefan Urkelle: Good lord, you're a nerd. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Come here. Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. Clean up your room Edward. I can't breathe! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What's wrong? Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. Did I do that? To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. I know how you feel about Laura. Carl: Oh, you heard me, don't ever come back. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Laura Lee Winslow: [pushes some things aside] I can't pitch in right now. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. No. Laura: How long have we known each other? Can you carry me home? Why would somebody do this to me?' Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You won't be sorry, sir. Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. She actually said, "Human Being". Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The librarian, a white man that I'd known all my life, pushed me out into the street and told me never to come back. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. [Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. 12. r/Unexpected. It's a beautiful language. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Laura: This is just a model, right? I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). 4 Mar. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? Why, how low can you get? Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? Didn't you? He's having the same discussion with his father. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. It's always tomorrow with that boy! [stares at the racist cop] Black. Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. You mother once tried bean bags. You have the right to have an attorney present. But you know what, I find her very attractive. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Larry Csonka: Yes, spread the word. "Clean up your room, Edward." Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? It was right in your favorite spot. Forget it, Steve. It's just for the family Steve stop begging. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Steve Urkel: I can't! Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Harriette Winslow: I know. Would you like that? Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. then removes his hand]. Steve Urkel: 'Standardized Urkel Elementary Math Exam'. Steve Urkel on CBS? Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. Laura: Thank you, Steve. Pick a general observation about her personality. Hey Steve, would you like a breast? Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Carl: Uh-oh. Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. YOU'RE WHERE? This poker game is important to you and I messed it up by inviting this windbag. Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! I'll teach you. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. I love my Army. And I like the Red Sox. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Harriette: Who cares? Carl: I am not. You had two whole days to forget where it was. Steve Urkel: No, but it was moving kinda fast. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. I'm in college. Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. He breaks something a beaker along the way]. My, what strong arms. Where do I sign? Do these guys have game? Carl Otis Winslow: All right. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. 11 days ago. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Steve Urkel. Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. I got a nosebleed at birth. I'm Stefan sweet thing. Harriette Winslow: I am not! Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? It's fascinating. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? He's a lawyer! You can stay. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. It meant a lot to me. Hey, wait a minute. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification.
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